If only this is the place where I can say the truth,
without any prejudice I will say everything I feel.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Day by day pass by 
the true people have all die,
the is no justice left,
their ear went to deaf,
we forgot our own creator.
It's to late now we made our choice,
the sky turns red, and death comes to greet.
Then sixty thousand people, all running on the street
The curtain closes, the ground cracked under my feet
Death will take a bow and say "thank you all for coming out"
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I hear nothing, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a body on the ground, thats it
the thoughts went to my brain and scream It's the end and kill it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up,
alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Amir outside waiting,
 I walk right up to my mom and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, 
the sky just smiles and winks at the caster.
Almost as if to say...

Saturday, November 29, 2008


Having dark thoughts in this bright place,
blind in this beautiful world,
No clue have been left,
no steps have been retraced.

Our memories fade.
our life crash.
our love broken.
our fate slipped.

and we closed our eyes,
trying to forget the sadness,
but it won't listen.
our body astray.

tears betray their master,
drop endlessly,
our heart ache,
it bleed,
on the inside.

Our faith is leaving,
our hope is gone,
our trust sing,
our truth lies.

We have waited for eternity,
even with mortality,
but what can we do.

when we're lost.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


In the middle of the changing season,
I casually feel how long the day is,
In the midst of restless busy days,

You and I paint our dream,

Place our love on the winds of March,
A cherry blossom sprout will move on into spring
Little specs of overflowing light,
warm up the morning little by little.

By your side when you're embarrassed,
After a big yawn.

Standing at the entrance to a new world,
What I noticed was that I wasn't alone.

By closing my eyes,
The you who I see behind my eyelids,
Has somehow helped me become stronger,right?
I too want to be like that for you.

What's wrong with falling down, you can always stand up again.

If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me... I'm alive.

I'm alive.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


On the other shore of sadness,
It is said that there is a smile,
Finally we arrived,
but what are we waiting for?

The purpose is not to run away,
It's to chase after dreams.

we should have gone out to travel,
On that summer day so long ago.

Even tomorrow, if you see it,
though there isn't a sigh either,
like a ship going against the current flow,

right now, go forward,move ahead.

Even if it cuts through the rain and clouds,
The wet roads shine.
Only the dark will teach,
a stronger and stronger light,

be strong, go forward move ahead.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile
But before we can go there,
is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can’t have a reason to run away
We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream
we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break
the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light
helps push us to walk on

Monday, November 24, 2008


Sitting in front of my laptop. Reminiscing the good old days. I wish I could abroad. It reminds me on the movie "selamat pagi cinta" a quite descent but cheesy Malay movie. It is a sad movie about love but it doesn't come to  me. It didn't touch my heart. The sad movie turns into a comedy. Well...That's when Adzimah interfere. 
The thing is here, Love,Death, are in the gods hand. Just now I met Nadhirah,Aisyah, and Adzimah, I was told they just came back from Nadia's house.There I made a promise to my self and my friends indirectly. We will succeed together.
 So on my way to the tailor. I wonder when we will met our true love. Some people chase for it. But for me and some others wait for it. Back to the love part. One day we will have our own marriage. We will be a parent. But ruined by the rumors of 2012. They say the apocalypse will happen on that year.I don't believe exactly what the rumor says but the calendar and the global warming brings the fear. Fear why have you come. I hope it will be a bit longer, so I can accomplish my dreams and such. But if it ends let it ends.
At least let me make it a happy ending.


I woke up around 6.30AM. It rains... I can hear it through the closed window. It is cold. . . Lately my positivity slightly gone, I felt like everything is going to an end, My dreams perish, my love shattered ,my life ruined. I anxiously waiting for 'the end'. But my heart resisted it so badly. Fear is a friend now to me. But it is time to get rid of it. I always wonder why should we live in fear. It is time to make a change.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


A couple of days before, my eyes went to a breakdown. Finally, the soft side is waking up. 
What if you say due to excessive crying. Some people cry for 5 hours straight and get their eye's swollen, packets by packets of tissue wasted. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as if it were not mine. Now I realized why he cried.
It's so heart wrenching.My heart ached at how human life can be so fragile.

I am angry at how life sometimes turned out completely different from what we want.

I am angry at how certain diseases choose their victim.

I am angry by the limitations of human capabilities.

Have I been so desperate for my life. Years passed before, I never felt desperate for a book. I am not a novel fans and I barely read books. But it is my heart desire to desperately want a book.This one book is what I am desperate of.
I managed to track this book down in Kinokuniya KLCC, unfortunately it was in Japanese.It cost only for RM28. If you know where to get the english version please leave a comment .
Like Aya, I shed 1 litre of tears too. It is sad to see her died but knowing she live without any regrets give me reason to live on. With her courage in mind, I'm sure I could overcome any obstacles in life just like her.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


Guys check out this new movie!
My heart beated fast when I saw this, scary to think about it.

also try to google it.


Another day as usual, rises with eye crust as a friend,
And I opened up the window pane, the light, the sound all came in swiftly.
and I ponder for a while, stare, glance... at that beautiful view.
and I wonder if I could be any place better.
"Yes, I can!" screamed my heart. But my body says "No, not today".
Again I washed my face by the sink and look in to the mirror.
for a while there I stared...
and kept thinking.

"your reflection shows, who you are inside"

so I end the millions of questions in my head and went straight to my laptop.
and so I was browsing the internet, and look up for e-mails.
all those things sure bores up pretty quickly.
Straight forward to the saddest movie on earth.

''1 litre of tears''

that movie touches my heart, so I dropped tears all the way watching it.
series by series, and I intend to slow down, because I don't want it to end.
and so is life,
I will taste it slowly and...
because I don't want it to end.
And so I have been thinking more-and-more about the future. I can imagine it would be.
and I wish it to come true.
But there is this one question that keep locked in my head.

"which do you prefer,"
"A truth that kill or a harmless lies?"


What's wrong with falling down?

You can always stand up again.


The white clouds in the blue sky,
floating slowly, but the time passes by fast.
When you watch a movie, or read a book and suddenly
it ends.
you feel unsatisfied that it feels short.
So might as well you read another book slowly
and thus life is short.
And I will savour every moment of it

Friday, November 21, 2008


Day by day like this, will I unable to do things?
When I close my eyes,
I become frightened of the next day approaching.
When the morning comes,
I get so afraid, pondering about wether it'd get worse.
I'm so scared... of the time passing by.
I know we were young but what if...
time has reached it's toll or,
or death...
will come and greet us.


Dear Adzimah& Nadia & tagged people:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1)
 I dislike you. I think I realized it When (3)I quoted Santa (3) With Paris Hilton and I saw you (4)Ignore (5)My best friend. I'm sure you're (6) Ashamed enough to understand  (7)That I'm open. I'm returning (8) The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep (9)Your suicide note  as a memory. You should also know that I (10)Always have felt dirty before (11) A new life as a clone .(12)Go burn,


I have learned upon this journey.
That out there in the world, there are many people with different views, different faces, different acts.
The good, the bad, the better, the worst.
There are many masks upon their faces.
which we do not know their intention.
they will kill,murder,abuse you,
from the inside and the outside.
so a lesson here today...
'never trust people and not a single dust'

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


If you haven’t heard of her, Magibon/MRirian is one of the most popular vloggers on YouTube. She’s currently th75th most subscribed users of all time and is dominating the People & Blogs section, with four of her videos placing in the top 15 for the past month.

Magibon doesn’t do anything in her videos. She just stares, blinks, and smiles at the camera. Occasionally she’ll say something in badly accented Japanese, like “pizza is delicious” or “I am studying Japanese.” Magibon looks 16, but claims to be 21, and is actually white, not Japanese. She’s very cute, has huge eyes, and resembles an anime character.

Despite doing nothing in her videos, Magibon has somehow amassed millions of pageviews and has spawned a huge following of fans, haters, and imitators. She’s even been invited to appear on TV in Japan.

She is a bit mysterious and freaky when you first see her but after seeing her interviews,

It somewhat be very inspiring.

Talk about dumb luck!


Kita takkan rasa sunyi bila kita dah biasa duduk seorang diri.

We will never feel alone if we used to be alone.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I'm totally addicted to japanese tv series now!
The series is awesome! :D
I love the guys hairstyle! so cool!
oh wait one of them is a girl... find out which one! ;)


Time... the main aspects of life.
Like flipping a hourglass, it's like adrenaline. Things rushes 
out fast.
like the river or blood. Those miracles that the god made. And soon the sand in the hourglass
will fall down to the last bit. In this world is commonplace that we know one day 
our hourglass will be empty. Just like those fantasy movies.
It is about time that the sands of time will be gone.

Our time is running out...

Monday, November 17, 2008


I almost got hit by a van.
And can't stop thinking that I have cheated death.
Thank god I am still alive.


As I was in the car, and I ponder upon the journey I have been through event hough sixteen is a small number but the journey is long and lies a longer journey if time let me. My father drives about 200 km/h within limit exceeded I stare upon the window and think that time has go this fast mercilessly without waiting for a single human. In this life I have learned so many things, so many lessons have been taken noticing it or without noticing it. Like the Tenggang's poem, the journey is a loyal teacher and that teacher will stay with us and teach us the meaningof life. 
Life is about choices you made and never look back on them. Life is not about enjoying without working. Life itself is like a movie,we are the actor, and god is the director.And when the director make the cut,and one day the world will end it's everything and left not a single dust. Right now we are a part actor and a storywriter we made our choices either to a good ending or to bad hell itself. And there is no doubt about our talent, talent can be achieved with hardwork even you fail you still will be satisfied because of your work. Yet every actor have their own role to play and by means everyone have their own darkside and lightside the only thing that
 matter is which part we choose to act to.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Makhluk apa yang kejam, keji, tak berhati perut, zalim dan mementingkan diri sendiri!

JAWAPAN: Manusia

Saturday, November 15, 2008


Yes, exam's over yesterday.
I have good news, better news, bad news, worst news and et cetera.
Good news is it's holiday!
Better news is next year we are form 5, senior year!
Bad news is next year will be the last year and SPM! stress-stress
worst news is that I've heard from pn.Hariane, next year ACCOUNTING is a mandatory subject for all science students... I don't know if the ministry accepted it or wether form 5 need to.

anyways holiday is here so I am taking pace by pace relaxing and focusing on my studies ;)
so may next year be the best year!

Now I can play this game all day long.nyahaha!

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Today was quite a fun day, I have enjoyed the day so far but a slight twist melted my heart. Today, miss Aisyah Sandhera former drama coach enter our class today. She ask me and Syafiq former Busu to help her staple some things in the culture room. So I went up as fast as I can to open the doors but as usual the door is like a lock that only a certain people with excessive skill can open. So Syafiq opened the door. Just before the door opened a deep anxiety flows through me. The door opens and Syafiq rushed in. As I step into the chamber, the familiar odour was still kept in the room, the smell of memories. The room have changed a bit but it's still holds an infinite memory. On the left before the door you can see the drama corner which is empty. Above you will see the villagers ritual hats. I have a desire to bought back one headpiece but reminded by the smell of the stench of the sensation of the raw meat!
And so on we staples a couple piece of note on the board. Then teacher former tour guide give us a tour to the store room. The store room was breathtaking, It was filled with drama props. It was a bittersweet moment. It reminded me of the days. The outing, the pizza's the nervous tension. I want all the drama members to look inside the culture room and savour the last bit of the best memories...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


As I was doing my additional mathematics today I stare around the class. It was awfully quiet. First , I saw Amin, everytime I turn my head around he will wink. Saying that everything is okay. Then I turned the other round, I saw Syairazi. He always sleep like a fully exhausted person. He wanted to be a pilot. How can you be a pilot if you always sleep right ;). Then next to Syairazi I saw Syafiq, He always stares at the window thinking... I always wonder what he thinks about. Then the three stooges , we all can see how their future is working out but I let my curiosity passes by and shook my head down and sigh. I look to myself on how I have changed. A quite a long journey I have been through and life going perfectly. I am just afraid if life had turned it's course and end miserably. It's like a plan worked out well then suddenly goes wrong, everything went black. I have this eagerness to go to a university, come to think about it, no more add math, no more calculations it was all good but something prevented me from going. My infinite love for my family. I wonder what will I work, what job will I get.
There all lies an infinite question mark...

Lately I have become a little bit tired, maybe the exams or it just my eye.

I kept watching '1 litre of tears' again and again....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Sorry, I shoot to save.

Monday, November 10, 2008


I can't study, I can't do my exams with this irritated eye. Shit you irritation and bacterium and microorganisms! This is leaving me a sigh a lot of sigh. Besides blinded by some infectious disease, I only got 4 days left to truly savor haven! ;)
ICT was okay, Physics was hard,chemistry was harder, additional mathematics was the hardest,
these electives is such a burden but too bad for them I can bear them! Bwahaha! I hope the exact same teacher will teach us again next year, I mean this year's teacher's are so fit and perfect. I don't mind staying with the same teacher because they know us best! ;). 

This song fits perfectly after SPM examinations

I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

I don't want to be the one to blame
You like fun and games
Keep playing em
I'm just saying
Think back then
We was like one and the same
On the right track
But I was on the wrong train
Just like that
Now you've got to face the pain
And the devil's got a fresh new place to play
In your brain like a maze you can never escape the rain
Every damn day is the same shade of Grey

I used have a bit of a plan
Used to
Have a concept of where I stand
But that concept slipped right out of my hands
Now I don't really even know who I am
Yo, what do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free and
Whatever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me


Back then, I thought you were just like me
Somebody who could see all the pain I see
But you proved to me unintentionally
That you would self-destruct eventually
Now I'm thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt
But it's not gonna work
Cause it's really much worse than I thought
I wished you were something that you were not
And now this guilt is really all that I got

You turned your back
And walked away in shame
All you got is a memory of pain
Nothing makes sense so you stare at the ground
And hear my voice in ya head when no one else's around
What do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free and
What ever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me



I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

Do what i have to do
You're on your own now believe me

What ever happens to you
You're on your own now believe me

What do I have to say
You're on your own now believe me

It's not gonna happen to me
You're on your own now believe me

I used to sing this song in front of Syafiq after mostly every break ups! :D
But one day Karma will turn against it's master and
one day I will sing this song for myself.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


I'm tired... 
I'm exhausted... 
I need some sleep...

Saturday, November 8, 2008


To gather all the knowledge and power
and so on gathered the men,
with it's bitter taste and sour,
and with it's one becomes ten.
but yet the truth yet hidden
and so on the lies stay true,
and all this thing I have given,
and it is mine too.
Then I have ponder endlessly,
without any doubt of any doubt,
and fate yet surprise me miraculously,
and I wonder what it is all about,
when karma turns around and bite you,
and it will bite yours too,
also everything that you stand for ,turn around to spite you,
and forcibly say I do.
I left my past in this book of lies,
and it's pages never dies,
and start a new one with clean  papers,
without any doubt of its glazing,
and may that book have a happy ending,
the best story ever after,
another memoir to read with a laughter.

Thursday, November 6, 2008


Only one more year left till I've done with school and I will making history like I do.
Only one more year left till we all take our own path.
And I will savour that year till the last bit of it.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Art exams are fun... especially the excessive gossips and jokes.
It was a fun day but a moodless one. Stress relieve subject.
This is my drawing should be like.
As I express my feeling on that piece of paper It reminds me that one day we will go for our separate lives...

Oh I just watched the news and the new president of united states Obama wins...
people just love him from foreign countries to the U.S.A itself.
He just got justice one him. I feel a slight relief from him. He will make history.

 '' Karma strikes again"

Monday, November 3, 2008


I guess you think you know this story,
you don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy.
Mind you they got the first bit right,
The bit where,in the dead of the night,
The ugly sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the palace ball,
While darling Cinderella,
Was locked up in a shiny cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.
She bellowed ''Help!'' and Let me out!''
The magic fairy heard her shout,
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said ''My dear are you alright?"
"All right?" cried Cindy. ''Can't you see
I feel rotten as can be!"
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted,''Get me to the ball!
There is a disco at the palace!
The rest have gone and I'm jealous!
I want a dress! I want a coach!
And earrings and a diamond brooch!
And silver slippers, two of those!
And lovely nylon pantyhose!
Done up like that I'll guarantee
The handsome Prince will fall for me!!"
The fairy said "Hang on a tick."
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the palace ball!
It made the Ugly sisters wince!
To see her dancing with the prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
Herself against his manly chest.
The prince himself was turned to pulp
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
The midnight struck. She shouted ,"Heck!"
I've got to run to save my neck!"
The prince cried ,''No, alas !Alack!
He grabbed her dress and hold her back.
As cindy shouted "let me go!"
The dress was ripped head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
"The girl this slipper fits". he cried,
"tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I'll visit every house in town
Until I've tracked the maiden down!"
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.
At once, one of the ugly sisters,
(the one whose face was blotched with blisters)
sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
Then in it place calmly put.
The slipper from her left foot,
Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
and Cindy's luck starts looking sicker.
Next Day, the prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house , the tension grew.
Who was the owner of this shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside)
Also smelled a wee bit icky.
(the owner's feet were hot and sticky)
Thousands of eager people came,
To try it on.but all in vain.
Now came the ugly sisters 'go
One tried it on. The prince screamed ''NO!!"
But she screamed, "Yes! It fits! Whoepee!
So now you got to marry me!"
The prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered ''Let's get out of here"
"Oh no you don't! You've made a vow!
There's no way you can back out now!"
"Off with the head!" the prince roared back
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleases the prince. He smiled and said,
''She's prettier without a Head".
Then up came sister number two,
Who yelled ,''Now I will try the shoe!"
"Try this instead!" the prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack-
Her head went crashing to the ground,
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her head round the door.
''what's all the racket?" Cindy cried
"Mind your own bizz," the prince replied.
Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My prince! She thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone.
Who does this sort of thing for fun?
The prince cried ,"Who's this dirty slut?"
Off with her nut! Off with her nut!"
Just then in a blaze of light,
The magic fairy hove in sight,
Her magic wand went swoosh and swish!
Cindy! She cried."Come make a wish!
Wish anything and have no doubt
That I will make it come about!"
Cindy answered,''Oh kind fairy,
this time shall be more wary.
No more prince's no more money
I had my taste of honey.
I'm wishing for a descent man,
They're hard to find,D'you think you can?"
Within a minute Cinderella.
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam-maker by trade,
who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
and they were Happy Ever After...

Saturday, November 1, 2008