If only this is the place where I can say the truth,
without any prejudice I will say everything I feel.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


Lately I have been thinking of apocalypse, a scary sight to be seeing. I also been clouded by tons and tons of work. Tension... life have been busy and hectic with this and that. But it is all worth it I guess, I mean life is nothing if you just live. I need to have a schedule, balancing the pressure that is increasing day by day. Love is also accompanying me, since most of my friends are in love or most of them heartbroken right now, won't that make you want to say 'In your face' . But it is common I guess. 
Day by day, I feel the urge to go out with my family more, to spend time with them. Because this is the last year of my high school days.
Think again, when we were 20 or 30 years old. It is common sense for us to desperately wanting to come back to our school days. Because one day we will make a search inside our minds, reaching for good memories and most of them is in our school years.

Lately I have been thinking of apocalypse, a scary sight to be seeing. I also been clouded by works




We changed the drama theme again, because the old one didn't work out.
I hope we win this year!

and watch this!

Friday, February 27, 2009


Hadhrat Imraan bin Husain (R.A.) relates that, "I heard *Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) saying: "Since the birth of Adam (A.S.) till the advent of Qiyamah there is no fitnah (evil, test) much greater that of Dajjal." Hadhrat Huzaifah (R.A.) says, Dajjal will be blind in his left eye. He will have very thick hair on his body and he will also have his own type of Jannat (Heaven) and Jahannam (Hell) with him: Although his Jannat will appear as Jannat, in reality it will be Jahannam and likewise though his Jahannam will appear to be Jahannam, in reality it will be Jannat. (Hadith: Muslim) Imraan bin Husain (R.A.) says Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Those who hear about Dajjal should stay far from him. By Allah! A person will approah him thinking him to be a Believer, but on seeing his amazing feats he will become his follower." Ubadah bin Saamit (R.A.) once said, "I have explained Dajjal to you but I fear that you might not have understood. Maseeh Dajjal will be short, and his legs will be crooked. The hair on his head will be extremely twisted. He will have one eye (with which he can see, and this is the protruding eye about which other ahadeeth inform us) while his other eye will be totally flat. It will neither be deep (in its socket) nor protruding. If you still have any doubt regarding him then remember that your Sustainer (Rabb) is not one-eyed. (Because Dajjal will eventually claim to be Allah). In a lengthy Hadith narrated by Abu Saeed (R.A.), Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said: "Dajjal will come but it will be prohibited and impossible for him to enter Madina. He will set up camp in a barren land outside Madina. One person who will be the best of persons will confront him by saying: "I bear witness that you are the very Dajjal about whom Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has informed us." Dajjal will say to his followers, "If I kill this person and then revive him, you people will still doubt me?" They will reply, "No." He will then kill this person, (according to another narration he will split this person in two) and thereafter revive him. This person will say, "I am totally convinced more than ever before that you definitely are Dajjal." Dajjal will attempt to kill this person again but his efforts will now be in vain. (According to a hadith, after this incident, Dajjal will not be able to harm anyone.) Hadhrat Anas (R.A.) says that Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Dajjal will come and finally reach the outskirts of Madina. There will be three tremors. At that time, all the disbelievers and hypocrites will flee (from Madina). In this way Madina Munawwarah will be purified of all the evil hypocrites." Hadhrat Asma bint Yazeed (R.A.) narrates that Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) once came to my house and there he spoke about Dajjal. He said that before the emergence of Dajjal there will be three spells of drought. In one year the skies will withold one third of its rains, causing the earth to withold one third of its produce. In the second year the skies will withold two thirds of its rains, causing the earth to withold two thirds of its produce. In the third year, the skies will withold all its water and there will be no crops that year. All animals, be they hooved or toothed, will die as a result. The greatest evil of Dajjall will be to approach anyone and ask him: "If I bring your camel back to life, will you then believe that I am your Rabb?" This person will reply, "Most certainly." Thereafter Shaytaan (from the many Shayateen who will always accompany Dajjal) will appear before this person in the form of his camel with a fat hump and fully laden udders. Likewise Dajjal will appear before another person whose father and brother have long passed away and ask him, "If I bring your father and brother back to life will you believe that I am your Rabb?" This person will reply, "Why not?" Shaytaan will once again take on the appearance of his brother and father... (Ahmad) Hadhrat Mughira ibn Shu'ba (R.A.) says that, "No one asked Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam) about Dajjal as much as myself. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam) said to me, "How can he possibly harm you?" I said: "People are saying that he will have with him a mountain of bread (provisions) and a river of water." Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam) said: "In the sight of Allah he is much more disgraced than that." (i.e. Allah knows full well that in reality Dajjal has nothing with him, and all that which appears to be with him is but deception). (Bukhari and Muslim). Other Ahadeeth regarding Dajjal inform us that: He will emerge between Shaam and Iraq, and his emergence will become known when he is in Isfahaan at a place called Yahudea. The Yahudis (Jews) of Isfahaan will be his main followers. Apart from having mainly Yahudi followers, he will have a great number of women followers as well. He will have with him fire and water, but in reality the fire will be cold water while that what appears to be cold water will in reality be a blazing fire. Those who obey him will enter "his Jannat" while those who disobey him will enter "his Jahannam." There will be a thick fingernail-like object in his left eye. The letters "Kaa" "Faa" "Raa" will appear on his forehead and will be deciphered by all Mu'mineen regardless of them being literate or not. He will have a wheatish complexion. He will travel at great speeds and his means of conveyance will be a gigantic mule. It is said that he will play beautiful music which will attract the music lovers. Dajjal will lay claim to prophethood. He will then lay claim to Divinity. He will perform unusual feats. He will travel the entire world. He will send down rains upon those who believe in him, which in turn will cause good crops to grow, trees to bear fruit and cattle to grow fat. He will cause drought to those who disbelieve in him, resulting in starvation and hardship for them. During those trying times the Mu'mineen will satiate their hunger through the recitation of Subhanallah and La'ilaha Ilallahu. The hidden treasures will spill forth at his command. He will stay on this Earth for a period of forty days; the length of the first day will be one year, the second day will be equal to one month, the third day will be equal to a week and the remaining days will be normal. He will be unable to enter Makkah because the Malaikah will be guarding the Holy City and nor will he be able to enter Madina because there will be Malaikah guarding each of the seven entrances to Madina; From Madina he will proceed towards Shaam where Imaam Mahdi will be stationed. Finally Isa (A.S.) will descend from the heavens and pursue him and eventually kill him at present day Lydda (Baad Lud). 

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Life been quite hectic frankly, since it is the last year. Many assignments and projects are running into the deadline. To add to it, our extra chores and activities. Not to mention seminars, tutorials and the less tuition. Speaking of extra! A reporter had just came to our study institute. As the 'chairman' of the martial arts department, I need to go to the practice and the interviews. And yes I have leveled up and learned the Chop Kick! It was awesome. I get to break planks and woods and get recorded.
Dzmah had mentioned me about something. And yes without any prejudice's, and there's a word for it...

'' Bitch ''

It is awful, and yes it proves that the world of ours are going to end pretty soon. I don't know what will happen to them in the future, but I can bet if be left alone, then will never survive.
Every rule's break have it's own punishment. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


The new teacher for mathematics is really great. She's a person who is... main cakap lepas.
I like her jokes and she laughs at most of the thing in this world. She's like Albert Einstein who like to observe thing. Come to think of it she said something.

" Kamu sekarang ni tak payah la ada pakwe - makwe, macammana kalau pakwe kamu tu tak dapat masuk universiti and kamu dapat. Off course la kamu nak tinggalkan dia betul tak. ? "

At certain time people tend to be selfish... I have made the right choice all this time. I am glad I am single...
here is a song for single people.

I like the part

You got nothing to lose
Don’t be afraid to get down

We break up
It’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay, let it go
Get out there and find someone

It’s too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
You know everything is good here
Stop what you’re doin'
You don’t wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
find a new one..


where are yo?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


He fell in beside him and they began to converse amicably. He could scarcely fathom the idea of jealousy swinging in his mind. Without any doubt it is about love. How it could change the past, the present and leading the future mounting immediately to crash, burned and buried. A distance between them only a few inches away but the gap differences between them is like the earth and the sky. Envy and lust, those two of a kind entwine which could corrupt any minds of a human. Disguised in Love it creeps and eat the host alive. Like a parasite...
His enigmatic self is filled with negativity compressing ideas between reality and dream.
Low self esteem? No that's not it.

We are dying to be someone else, when there
 is someone else out there dying to be us.

Have you think? There is fate a lot worse than us. We laugh when there is someone out there crying. We cry over a small matter and planned suicide when someone out there laugh out loud because their brains snapped for having to much problem. We neglected our responsibilities as students, we abandon our studies when someone out there is hungry for knowledge. Have we think of that? We keep on nagging on how hot the day is or what clothes to wear when some of us die from drought and being naked is just a norm of the society.
Even animals know how to act properly.

"Are we human? 
are we Denser?"


Life have been hard all of a sudden and yet I am still searching for something I didn't know off. I always took the hard way when the easy things are already in front of me. Always waiting for a moon behind a cloud in the morning. Day by day time poisoned me between it's plague. What am I searching,.. when do I get it.

Life has been forcing me to be serious. I have been left out. It is up to me to climb back to the top. 
I always wondered how the real world would be, they say people would kill only for lust and greed. If only we can manage ourself then only we would survive. School is just a training center preparing us to enter the Real World. I always go for the Karma, things you have done now will come back again, if you do nice things and then nice things will happen to you. But some people... they just don't know boundaries. They just cross into peoples lines and wreak havoc in the city. Then when the same thing happens and they start to blame other people for their mistakes. That is the perfect moment to say...

" In your Face"!

Monday, February 23, 2009


They say those who have talents need 
to work harder,
but for me otherwise. Talent can be achieved if we try hard enough. We all have something we best at, as for me I am not sure what I am best at. They say if you have passion then everything will be fine. But what is my passion, passions fade off as soon as a new thing comes in. Then everything turns gray. An artist without inspiration. A director without any idea. A poet without any words. 

Sunday, February 22, 2009


憎しみ, 嫌悪, 憎悪 
憎む; 嫌う, 嫌がる




Easy Say;
کاو بابي


We have been friends for a long time. But when the time comes, we will choose our own way. Every choice we make will have an 'end' result. Regardless where we are going or what we want to be. We should be committed, not like a barking dog with no bite. Like the sign on the road, one way only, that is how we will be. And after a while, we will meet at a junction and that is when the past live again.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Today's seminar was great it is awesome! It is about teaching how to lead our clubs since I am the chairman of the Martial Arts department, I must go but I totally have fun. Oh and this Morning Amin came to the martial arts practice. It brings old memories back. The seminar is awesome. We cooperate and show our leadership skills. We won the best team and Dzmah won the best female contestant.

I was amazed at Amal for being to speak like that. Speaking of public speaking, I don't know if I wanted to go to the talkshow or not.

Friday, February 20, 2009



There is this quote

" Our fatigue mostly not caused by exhaustion but from worries. "

I have been quite busy and tired lately, with all the work and assessment. I just have been invited to an english talkshow. I will be on TV and they will pay me. Talk about fame and fortune. The person said that I need to form a group and must have a good english. Since I realize that I am not a good public speaker especially knowing that a state of TV pressure exist. I might not want to enter it. But also this maybe is a one in a lifetime chances. I need to improve my english speaking techniques and yet do well on the school oral forum. This talk show might help. But I need to learn to speak english fluently A.S.A.P.

For further information and those who interested can ask me personally.

Thursday, February 19, 2009



We went to Tekali by bus. It was fun. We sing a long to the radio we eat and such. 
That was the first time I went there. We arrive there first, one point for Section Four. As you see, we are well disciplined and one of the most respectable school. We went straight to the podium to register and have lunch. The other school haven't arrived yet so we conquer the campsite. The boys have been divided into two groups, group meat and group bone. We get the big tent. You know like the military ones which fits around 20 people inside there. After putting our heavy bags on the side we went out to take a bath. The water is the best part of this camp. It is so refreshing and cold. They are the water from the river up on the mountains. Unfortunately I didn't bring any camera so I can't share all the good parts.
So we went back to the tent and the other schools have arrived. We minding our own business until night falls.
It is hard to sleep when there is noises. We start to introduce ourselves. We make hilarious jokes. The noisiest group of all. And there was farts and snors. Well what can you say. This is camp. 

P/S: I saw some guy with huge *****.


Day two is more to physical activities like the low element, jungle trekking, and some cooperative game. You know what is good about camping. You got to get new friends. We played a few games like the Magic Carpet and Acid thingy. The best game is that we have to fill water into a cylinder full of holes and use teamwork to shut the hole. We are running out of hand and a new friend of mine uses his noses. It was funny.
Forest trekking is always the golden choice. There were leeches and such. 
And guess what!
there were some schools, especially the girls from school B. Oh my god, they can't shut their mouth down. They are so unknowable , stupid to be exact. Stop talking like you know everything when you know nothing. To add it they are being rude and keep yelling 'babi, gemuk, bodoh' in the forest. Stupid fat pig in translation. And the guys keep yelling 'Pantat, cibai and bangang. ' And I don't even know what it means. 

Well that is school B now for the school C. Snobbish brats. They act like their school is the best. There is this one guy who always underestimate me. He is so damn annoying and acts immaturely like a spastic person. I feel like punching his face down. He can't even wear clothes the right way. And also this one guy who thinks he is all good and that. Sheesh! I hate guys like that. Thank goodness for my patience. 
That day ends all of us in torture because of a one person who break the rules . One person breaks, everyone pays. We have to spin on the ground and make swears. You know I hate swears. And about the spin part. I think I know who is the criminal is, and I felt like kicking his face down and shred it on the ground for what he have done.
The teachers calls us to express all of our disagreement. We were exhausted and dizzy as hell.
And the teachers, I don't know what to say. If I were from other schools, I would say that they are overreacting and annoying. 

P/S: This is what I think of them.



The head boy wakes us up with a torchlight. It was funny, holding the torchlight and says our name. To wake me up is easy. Just say my name out loud and presto I'm awake. It was dark in the early morning so I watched him waking people up. He thinks I'm asleep but nobody seems to listen to his demand haha.
There was this ending ceremony and we rehearsed it. As out head boy walks , a student next to me say bad things about him. 
Even if it's not me, I felt like swinging my hand right into his face.
Unfortunately patience stops me again. Then while the ceremony is in progress the guy puts his shoulders on me. What do you think I am, a chair? Then rage comes again and patience stops it. We took pictures,We went to have lunch and finally we went back. Some run for adresses and phone numbers. Especially the boys. There are a few people ask for my number too bad I forget. (how anti social) Me and C.R sings out loud and we all have fun. I took a ride from Dzmah. And I missed my family. I went home and everybody was surprised. I am happy, Without my family, I won't be standing here.

P/S: Rumor said that FightSoul have just gut a new girlfriend? What 5 now? dizaY got a lot of numbers and some girl gave Moon a number. Smooth move Moon.

NOTE: Overall it is a good camp not the best, bad schools, the best facilitator so far especially the one guy with a flattop. I like him! 3 days of suffer. Come to think of 3 months! Hell!
I am proud to be one of the members in MPM. We are active and well disciplined
and if we are given a license to cause physical harm. It will be my honour because I am so pissed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


NOTE: Gone out camp.

I hope everything goes as planned. 

It's been a long time since I've seen old good disney movies. Nowadays Disney's have been corrupted by Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers and such.
This song fits though. 

Sunday, February 15, 2009



- 7:30 -

I wake up, take a bath, get ready, packing as fast as possible because the teacher told us to be there at seven o'clock. But I came in approximately 7:15. So we waited and wait until 7:45 then we take the bus to the University Malaya for the Score A Seminar. We have the fliers already so we know what to expect. 10 hours of learning the same subject. 
As usual the bus is the best part, I bring my camera, but I left the battery at home. Silly me.

- 8:10 -

The registration is pretty fast for 10 school. Pay the fees and get the tag which includes a coupon and a password for our notes.

- 9:05 -
The seminar have just begun. The first speech is by Mr. Thuraiveloo. He is amazing, he gave his speech without looking at a book. He memorizes that many things. He teaches basically about essays and such. He likes to use strategy. Which is magnificent.

- 11:10 -

We take a break and have a breakfast. The tea just started up the heat since it was really cold inside the hall. We take a walk around the campus and we went back in.

- 11:35 -

The next lesson is the best because of this lecturer. First impression for me is a strict person since his face is like angry looks with his eyebrows falling down like that. Then hearing his voice, he is making nasal sounds. ( sengau ). I can't hold on so I laugh. Then Dzmah who is sitting next to me laugh too. Then he teaches us about novels, poems and such. It was hell funny. I laugh and laugh and laugh. He acts and imitates which interest most of us back then. He made funny jokes and such. Seriously the best.

- 1:45 -

It is lunch time and we eat some rice with chicken. And to top it off we eat by the stairs which is quite a cool spot. We made dirty jokes and stuff like that. We had a good laugh.

- 2:30 -

The next lecturer is more to Formula. She teaches pretty cool but she teaches very fast. Some of us can't catch her message and jokes. Overall it was a great experience.

- 4:35 -

Tea break! We had a pale curry puff and some Apam with some hot milk tea.
We take pictures there by using Amir's camera.

- 5:05 -

Okay this part right here is energetic. The host ( which I do not remember the name ) gets on the table and speak out loud about how amazing we are. Okay I feel quite energetic back then and clapped so hard it actually hurt. He gave an enormous speech while on the table. He told us that we are an A student and such. It was a good experience. 

- 5:15 -

The next lesson started. And it is Mr. Thuraiveloo again. So again with his strategy and serious jokes. 

- 6:36 -

The 10 hour seminar have just finished. I felt like a university student there. We came, we learn, we came back with a powerful knowledge. The bus again is the part where we just relaxed and enjoy the scenery. We are tired and exhausted. We have been brainwashed and learn something at least. Overall we have fun and have a good laugh. Pictures and videos is at Amir.
Well that's another item for my good memories list.

Friday, February 13, 2009


This guy are mad at impressions! Major of the impressions are alike!
Impersonations. That's really help you a lot if you don't know how to act. Speaking of that
We still stuck on the theme. 



 - 12.25PM -

Practice Makes Permanent
- Mr.Syawal-

Mrs. S looked like she's fed up with our behavior. Well not 'our' to be exact .

A have been a little quiet lately and B have just pissed off. C is getting lazy all of the sudden. D is ready to blow.

My mind is so messed up right now, I am confused. I am in the middle of a battlefield. I don't know which side to choose. I am confused.

In other topic

I have decided to get serious. I need to focus so I can't have any distraction.

I need to focus. I will limit my laughing time when teacher are teaching. I will limit my conversation time. I will be more quiet, so don't blame me for being stingy. 
And when Joker asks '' Why so Serious" then I will reply " 
For SPM sake Why so stupid?."

- 3:35PM -

Everything is falling pieces by pieces slowly. Some of the pieces stood back. Some just breaks into more pieces. 
Sigh, sigh, sigh... sometimes I wish that I could stop time and take that moment to stop everything.
And yesterday Sheranne have said something that will burn our drama spirit or lose it.

" You know the school that win last year, will definitely win again this year. "

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Hey you
So you never really found your way
Stay true
Did you ever make it through today

I know that when I think about a day without it
Everyday's the same
You wish that you could find someone
But I'm the only one to blame

Can't you see
I beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you're gonna find your way back to me

No don't
Don't you ever let a piece of me down
Cause time won't
Get back when I'm never around

When we live between so many walls
That I can barely breathe
You say that you just want someone
But I'm the only one you need

Can't you see
I Beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you're gonna find your way

If it's me
That you don't need
When the lights go out tonight I know
You're never gonna find your way

Soon when I get you I won't let you go
Oooh if I let you
You can take away all that I thought was wrong
And if you hear me there's not much to say
There's gotta be a better way

Can't you see
I beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the sky tonight
I know you're going to find your way back to me

Can't you see
I beg and plead
Cause when the lights go out tonight
I know you're never gonna find your way

If it's me
That you don't need
That when the lights go out tonight
I know you're never gonna find your way
If you pace around the world?
And when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you're gonna find your way back to me



12 FEBRUARY 2009 - 7:43- WRONG

The morning rises and my emotionless self is grasping for light.
I went early because of Lee. When I step into the steps.
I was aghast about what  the news have came out. Fear and rage strikes at a time. 
the right turned out wrong.
Is it me or is it you?

12 FEBRUARY 2009 -8:55- CUE

The play is acting on it's own, falling pieces by pieces to the part of no return.
I have done my role, my part of the play. Now it is your turn, your cue.

12 FEBRUARY 2009 -10:53- SECRETS

Rumors are spreading fast and vastly. I can hear the whispers of lies. I know people are keeping secrets, don't think that I didn't hear that? I am listening all the time. I know, and I can't do anything.

12 FEBRUARY 2009 - 11:40- MUTE

In the Civics period, there were this moment when everything is quiet. It goes for a long time.
Silent. Mute, like the time have stopped. Nobody is talking, angels pass by? For quite a long period of time. I can hear the voices of my heart. I am be able to think. So I used that moment to have a sight at my thoughts. What went wrong...

12 FEBRUARY 2009 - 12:25- HISTORY

Act like nothing have ever happened you say? But I am nearly sure that it have left a scar.
Do you expect to repeat history or make a better one?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


If you can keep your head when all about you,
    are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    but make allowance for their doubting too;
          if you can wait and not be tired of waiting,
  or being lied about and don't deal in lies,
 or being hated don't give way to hating,
   and yet don't look too good,nor walk too wise;

 if you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
if you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
if you can meet with triumph and disaster
      and treat those two impostors just the same,
if you can hear the truth you have spoken
       twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
or watch the things you gave your life to,broken.
 ant stoop and build em up with worn out tools,

if you can make heap of your winnings,
  and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    and lose,and start at your beginnings,
 and never breathe a word about your loss,
 if you can force your heart and nerve to sinew,
to serve your turn long after they are gone,
   and so hold on where there is nothing in you,
except the will to say ''hold on''!!

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor
lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving
friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the
unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds'
worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth
and everything that's in it,

And which is  more you will be a man, my son.


" Little strokes fell great oaks. "

Ask anyone and they will tell you that they want to be successful in life. Very often being Successful means having a lot of money, a big car and a big house with all the facilities.
But people forget that having all these things does not mean that you are happy.
In fact many rich and greedy people are probably miserable trying to make more money to pay the ever-increasing bills. They are also totally stressed out with all the pressures that come with high living.
So  somewhere along the way, you have to make a decision as to what you really want in life. Do have a proper job that will give you some money. Everyone needs money, unfortunately. Keep aside some for a rainy day. But more importantly. make yourself happy on a daily basis. Do not put off being happy! Don't tell yourself that you will do all the things you enjoy one day in the future. Do them now.
Travel a little if that makes you happy. Go for a play. Take the family for a picnic. Go to the playground with the children, romp around and relax. Laugh today. Enjoy today. Stop and look at the clouds, flowers or anything that gives you joy. If you have loads of money but have not laughed for a long time, something is dreadfully wrong with your life. Keep a balance in everything and you will be fine.

Even with all the happiness, don't forget about the future. Study hard and with knowledge, no one can cheat you. The future is made by the past.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009



FEBRUARY 10 - 11.45

Today went out quite well, until someone burst in rage. Mrs. S exploded into berserk. It was horrible. I was sitting in front. She yelled at us with the highest pitch she can go. I don't quite know the reason why, but she was looking to the group behind me and maybe further than that. I can already expect who, who else but the newest gossip in our school. The worst person in our class. You know who. Her eyes has been blinded with disgust. Her lips trembled from the magnitude of anger. I can only stand and hear. Those sharp words have crossed stabbing my soul and ripped them apart. I can bet that the 'you know who' didn't care about the message that has been sent.

" We are like a wall preventing a tsunami. "

" All the teachers are mad at us, and the reason is always them. "

I can't agree more, all of the teachers are mad at us and it is not entirely our fault. Only one person left who didn't explode yet. And if the person do.
Then we are confirmed to be marked the worst class.

Monday, February 9, 2009


9 FEBRUARY 2009- 3.15 P.M 

I just download some audio clips for my future learning since it's pretty easy and effective to learn by audio, I sync it in my i-Pod so that I can study just with a single touch. Small and compact, just slide it on my pocket and I can listen to the audio files on the bus, train, and whenever possible.

9 FEBRUARY 2009- 4.15 P.M

I went out since the drama meeting is held at the park. We wait for each of the crew to came one by one. Then we went to the Kentucky Fried Chicken for a hot spot or well known as a WiFi.
Adzimah brought a little mini laptop, and we are searching of a wanted man named JJ. But the KFC had some problems with the internet connection so we went to McDonalds.
The connection at McDonals was working perfectly. We all agreed to do the drama titled
The Cry of The Kasawari, the setting is pretty good since the story was a legend itself. A strong theme for us. But the problem here is, we don't know the exact story line and the script . That is why we needed Mr. JJ the first place.
It turned out that Mr. JJ is working at a radio station. Dyrah wrote a long letter to Mr. JJ.

9 FEBRUARY 2009- 6.55 P.M

The sun is setting and we call it a day. 
Adzimah had some leg issues, and on the way we met Syeera's father, and we couldn't resist to ask him about the drama. And I can expect what he will said. 

''Ask Mr. JJ.''

well... we have fun all the way. We lost track of time and we act like we doesn't have an important exams this year.
So let's do it again and let's do it often. For the sake of sweet memories.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Good thing's come to you when you least expected.
So you must expect the least then good things comes to you.

I don't know what to write, the crew are still thinking of a setting for a drama.
We have come up with many ideas and can't decide on a theme.
I go for epic ones..


Days by days have passed and yet we haven't decide on the setting of the drama.
Many conference and meeting have been done and yet we couldn't make up our mind.
I have given my idea based on real history. We just modify the storyline and make our own.
I go for the nazi because we can make a sad story or a comedy. We can shed tears or make them laugh.
Cause you're hot and your cold.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


" If a girl don't wear a Bra, then it will
Poooop! "

                                          -Nahirah Zaini-

It means if someone didn't follow the current laws of nature,
then they will be in trouble.

What differentiates Boys and Girls, Man and Woman, Guys and Chicks.
Have you ever wondered what it is like to be a dude?
Have you ever wonder what it is like to be a girl?

Guys usually shirtless and only wear pants in the house,
Girls on the other hand wear a shirt but sometimes wears only a panties.

And yet in the end we entwine. No matter how different we are we will get together, Like the Yin and the Yang.

Guys always blames the girls for their problems, and girls always blames guys for their problem.
You can't understand guys unless you're a guy.
You can't understand a girl unless you become one too.

Guys always falls for the beauty of a girl.
Girls always falls for the strong appearance of a man.


Friday, February 6, 2009


Today I made a promise to myself and to everyone. I will get the target that I achieved.
I will,... I promise.
And also today the teachers made their speeches, I was listening but my mind flew away for a moment.
I was thinking the day that we will get our SPM results.
It must have been nerve wrecking day. 
I can imagine if  we got what we achieve. We will cry of happiness, we hug each other knowing that there will be a bright future ahead of us. Tears dropped. With a big smile on our faces. We will jump high and call our parents. Maybe our parents will cry too, the familiar cry of happiness that their sons or daughters have become someone.
I want to smile broadly and cry, I wanted the feeling of happiness and I wanted to know the true meaning of success.

"Without knowledge, you're a nobody."
                                                                         -SALEHAH BT MOHD AMIN-

This dream is a bit blurr...
Last night I had a dream,
We were at some coliseum or a stadium.
There were a fighting tournament.
I saw a few of my friends I think I saw Amir,Dyrah, Aisyah,and Adzimah.
They were fighting against some unknown but familiar people.
I waited outside.
It is Adzimah's turn, we waited for our last hope.
We crossed our fingers hoping that we would win.
Adzimah was fighting a person. I don't remember much.
It was like a movie, then Adzimah  do something like the first guy on the video did.

Then we win, we cheer loudly and jumped and carry Adzimah.
This is all I could remember,
Anyways I wonder why I had that dream,
but I'm sure we will win something
the drama? SPM? Etc?

Thursday, February 5, 2009


It wasn't long ago that I have become another person. I was quiet sometimes and I shut people down. I would smile occasionally but it will fade off. I did that intensionally with determination.
Initiative? I am working hard, sometimes I will work too hard that it has become a burden to my shoulders. I need to work smart, I must work smart and hard. 

Mostly people these days don't know what will they be in the future, and even if they know but they have chosen the wrong path. It is not about how many subjects you take, or how long your job list is. It is about chasing what you want to become. Why take Biology if you don't want to be a doctor? Why took account classes if you wanted to be a doctor? I believe in what my parent's, teachers etc said to me. You must have a target. Or you will be lost in the maelstrom of nothing.
I also have proven that Knowledge is power, people in the real world out there will stab, kill, cheat, lie just to fill their greed and lust. That is why knowledge is power so we can't be trampled among those who have been cheated and lied just because that they have no knowledge. 
Most student's in my class didn't realize that. They have fun and till the last minute and they will struggle.
Some have high ambition like wanting to be a pilot or a lawyer but they have no commitment.
I know this year is the most valuable year, I have decided not long ago that I will not regret of doing anything. I want to live a life without regrets.
This is the last chance people, this is the reason why your parents sent you to school.
Make everybody proud.

" Why so serious? "

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I was waiting the time to come anxiously. From the sounds of the rugby match, I memorize my scripture. A short dialogue of greed. 
When the time is ripe, I went down to the Self Assessment Room where the audition is being held. There were quite a few new faces I've seen but most of them were familiar faces.
People were practicing, there were a lot of Shakespear's and Rudyard's in the room. Some were born to act some are just here to have fun. The sounds from the field and in the room were quite loud that it can make someone burst into tears. 
And yes it does make someone bust into tears, our beloved and respectful Stage Manager cries,
As a man I must ask why? She gave me the explanation quite well, she feels that she fails at doing at her own job. I have experienced it before and I understand.

" What's wrong with falling down?
You can always stand up again."

You are capable and go for it, that is why the teachers choose you.
Don't blame yourself for everything.

Back to the scene.
After she wipes her tears, the audition is almost begun. It was nerve wrenching, my hand shivers anxiously waiting for our turn to come.
Group by group have done it and now it is our turn.
I went straight to the centre of the spectators not knowing that my other mates was not following. It is too late to hold back now. 
We started our so call acting and show it to the judges. I made a few mistakes. But I cover it miserably. Finally we end our so called acting.
Then the judges went inside a room, and they were discussing the actors.
I waited outside anxiously, I flunk it bad and I knew that I will not be chosen.
Then the judges went out. My heart beat fast inside my chest anxiously waiting for the result.
Then the judges speak out. 

Oh such a relief, all of us are entering the competition. The twist here is that half of us were separated to two competitions. One for the theater and one for the drama.
I am glad that we are back again in the past.

" Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
-George Santayana-

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


I have roam the gray city, All this time I didn't realize... I was holding the color of my life.
The brush is in front of me the whole time. 
As I was practicing my script, this gray world of mine sleeps. Fading to prism of colors reflecting each other with it's light. It's funny how really the bad day went, Chased by dogs,
almost choke, shirt ripped, rains heavily, it's a dark day but we still manage to be happy.
The Crew is my color. Coloring every single piece of it and laugh until we forget the flew of time.
It was remarkable, it was breathtaking I could feel, I could grasp my old self back. And leaving the grey world alone. I knew that one day it will haunt me again. I will savour the moment when it isn't acting.Each of the laughter we make, a single color created. 
You guys are my pillar. I won't be standing if all of you are lost.
I don't want to lose the Crew.

If you look closely, esya was eating her hair.

Monday, February 2, 2009


This is the moment that I needed the most
I kick up the leaves but the magic is lost
My blue skies fade to grey
My passion's gone away
And I don't know what to do.

I stand in the line just to hit a new low
I fake it with a smile with a coffee to go
I tell you that my life's been way off line
And it falling to pieces every time.

This is my dark age,
I'm taking it down
even a sad song can't turn it around
I say I don't know
And I don't lie
I can't work with a smile neither go for a ride
This is my dark day
These Faces don't lie
I'm coming back down and I really hate.

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
I might not make it back and I know
That I could be well that strong
And I'm not wrong...

How does it feel one more time?