If only this is the place where I can say the truth,
without any prejudice I will say everything I feel.

Friday, October 30, 2009


I saw an anime once, there was this person. A university student. He build this art piece for his thesis. It was a monument. A tall monument. Compiling of scraps, boxes and tins. Even wooden chairs and instant noodle cup. The monument was build high. The were a lot of keyholes carved on the monument. And at the end there was a small box with another keyhole on it. He had to use stairs to complete the so called masterpiece. He couldn't think of a name for it so he just let it be.
The day of evaluation come, and the judge was quite disappointed on the artwork. They believe he can do better. But a friend of him came. A teacher. The teacher then wrote something on a piece of paper with a black marker. He wrote,

" The journey of a teenager."

then he put it in front of the monument. The judges let out tears. The teacher smile.

The point is, why did the judges cry? Is it because of the hardship that a teenager would go through. I don't believe so, I think teenagers doesn't go such hard conditions as the adults went through. Or is it their tears of happiness, where their youth is filled with glorious days?

and why?

is that , there's a small box on top of the monument instead of large ones?

Thursday, October 29, 2009


We expect so much that when it unable to give us what we want, we felt like a huge painful slap in the face. As a perfectionist I've always wanted things to be perfect, although nothing in this world is perfect. I still believe it so. We put our hopes too high, when the real thing isn't as what we hope for.
" Takpelah, nak buat camne." personally I kinda despise that word, us Malays always say that, although I used it often but still, I don't like it, it holds a tone of depression and lose hope.
I want beauty, tremendous inside and outside. I don't want a beauty that is on only one side. But it is life, that you can't have both. But I still want to believe that I can. And I will.

I wonder if woman like electronics. You'd really love them when first you bought it, but when the higher capability or the next gen comes out. You tend to buy the latest one. I believe Love can fade, but why there's certain love that didn't have an expiration date? Eternal.

The phone's captivating beauty, but not as beautiful on the inside. It starts to make problems, I wonder if a woman's does so. Or is it us men, who aren't taking good care of it...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


We can't be so confident about the future. We didn't expect that it would rain that heavily. Same goes for the future, life isn't about sunshine and rainbows. There are some things in life that we couldn't get no matter how hard we try. Plan A doesn't always work at it's best, be prepared for plan B.
I got what Mathee trying to say, I agree on her point. That after this exam we will meet a lot of people that will influence us and change our minds. We aim for the highest so that we could prepare when the time comes.
Rain, imagine it like the problems that life holds. People wait for a transportation to go home, kinda they wait for help to solve their problems. Some wait for the rain to stop, they have no other choice but to run or wait for the problem to fade. Some prepare an umbrella, they're ready for any problems that life could give them. There are also who run back home no matter getting wet, they face their problems face to face not matter if it kills them. And other's cherishing this moments waiting for time to pass by. Cold and gloomy, but people still laughing no matter how loud the thunder roars or how heavy the rain is. That is one thing about human.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


" A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this some people search forever, some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this."
-Kelly Clarkson-

Grab the camera and shoot as many as you like,
because what lies beyond the pixels are your stars.
They will bright and shine in your dreams.
And follows you in your road.
No matter if you lose it,
you still hold the piece in your heart.
No matter when they're gone,
they're still there and always be.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


" Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see the shadows."
-Helen Keller-

Lately I have been having a lot of doubts in the choices I make. Everything has a result, whether it is good or bad, It depends on the choices we made. Everything can be blow to bits if we picked the wrong choice. It is like the chess game, one wrong move and you could get that 'checkmate' from your opponent. Choices are everything, it shapes you, it determines your future. Wrong choice in making friends, then you see your life fall right before your eyes. Wrong choice in career then you become jobless in split second.
I remember one saying, to make a choice and never look back at it. Choices are hard to make when you have infinite doubts staying by the line.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


" Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clear view again."
-Alex Tan-

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


" When all else is lost, the future remains."
- Nevel Bovee-

I can't wait to see what we have become in the future, and at the same time I don't want to see it. Everyone doesn't want to but have to. Today we talked about many things, about the past. There is one moment where everything is quiet. No one is saying a word. We take our time to fill our brains with continuous thoughts, the fact that we are departing and we're gonna miss those fleeting moments.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


" Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
-Theodore Roosevelt-

There's gotta be more to life, than chasing out every temporary high, that is what she said. Her videos shows of many different types of her with different jobs kinda reflecting us on this side. Like Adzimah said, anything can happen. He wants to be a pilot, she wants to be a lecturer, they want to be an engineer. All of us have their dream jobs, but this is not heaven. This is earth, this is reality. We might end up be a taxi driver, or a beggar and maybe end up robbing banks and do crimes. We even might go nuts like the previous post. I can't imagine the future perfectly with everyone's current dreams. The 'Real World' is scary with dozens more problems and will increase as we age. What can we do? We can only plan, but god is the playmaker.

When the school ends, I always took my time to sat in the corner next to the bookshop. Sitting there relaxes me, with the calm wind. Cherishing the moments, although I have studies to do and friends waiting but if I could I would like to sit there watching as time flew by. Our school days are lapsing. We will not see this kind of things anymore, no more teachers scolding us, no more spicy Nasi Lemak, no more prefects meeting. No more anything. As I sit there watching teachers and students pass by kinda makes me sad. Is this what they called the so called freedom? Our body might be free, but our hearts and soul rests by this sanctuary.

Monday, October 19, 2009


" What does money mean to someone who hungers for love?

Yes, I couldn't agree more. Different people have different desires in life. Some may sound cliche and others are just plain disastrous. Some may think it is meaningless but for one it is the whole world. There are certain things in life that one doesn't look at. God gave us the same eyes but with a different view.


All I did all day was eat and staring into blank space for hours and hours. I couldn't study, I couldn't draw nor do anything that could benefit me. Even watching television doesn't cure. Sitting in front of my laptop, come to think that I have the whole world on my fingertip but still, it feels so empty...

Sunday, October 18, 2009


"If you read this, I just want to tell you that my current and highest target right now, is to study abroad in Japan. I know about the expenses, but at least tell me some way, give me one of those options. You once told me to aim for the stars, but why are you keeping my target low. I know you did that for my own good. Or maybe I didn't realize the easy way, or maybe I didn't think two steps forward. You know me well, don't you? I am stubborn, but with that obdurate, I will strive to get what I want no matter what. But what to do when you have a vehicle but no road to travel to."

This has nothing to do with the post above. Entertainment purpose.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


" We question what we are, this I spend the best so far.
This feeling shall last, we are proud to know to not to know that we are strong enough to let it

Let go, it is not as easy as it sound. Letting something or someone go is probably the hardest thing to accomplish. But is letting go a wise choice? Don't you think letting go is synonym to give up. When you let go of something, you sound like you have given up. How about letting go and move on. It's like a whole different meaning does it?

Thursday, October 15, 2009


" This is just the beginning, the problems you faced today was like a drop of water. The more you grow the more problems you will face."

It's scary isn't it. I mean, some of us had already facing so much problems and now imagining it being amplified. They would go nuts. Speaking about nuts, a couple of days ago I had this conversation with esya about crazy people. The one's that wander around the streets.
What drove them to the point of insanity? The most important part is, how do we know wether we are crazy or not.
We don't know what's inside a nutty people's head. Maybe on their point of view it is normal. I saw once, a guy talking to himself with expressions on his arms like he was debating. What if, in his head, he was talking to a friend that only his brain could interpret. We couldn't see because we are normal. see. Maybe the guy think he is normal because the brain make it as it is.
How do we know wether we are normal? When we talk to a friend, is the person there? Who knows, maybe we go nuts as well. But whatever it is, I do know that life, love and everything that is a link is fragile. Like a glass, it could break itself and cut the master to bleed.


"It's a small world darling
And we are still young
We might be so far away
We might just meet again someday"

This song is played by Yuna. She is like the Taylor Swift of Malaya. Her songs have deep lyrics and she wields a very beautiful voice. This is one of the soundtrack in the Malaysian movie Zoey and Joey. At first it was pretty cheesy then the plot thickens and it becomes very inspiring. I like seeing movies like that, movies about life and the world. It interest me in some way. What if the same thing happened to us. Like the movie Freaky Friday, where the mother and daughter switched bodies. What happen if we change bodies with someone we dislike or the other way around.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


" I can almost see it, That dream I'm dreaming but There's a voice inside my head saying, You'll never reach it."

Everyone have a dream, although some dreams are impossible, they still strive to obtain it. I guess it is human nature to go for the impossible. From the little to the biggest dream, there will be obstacles waiting. Not everyone was born rich, life is like a game and it isn't fair. But we can be like others with just a simple step. To be really successful and happy, all you have to do is move on.

" Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction, My faith is shaking."

Yeah I feel that sometimes, we feel that sometimes. In order to reach the destination we encounter junctions and dead ends. Sometimes we are on the high road, sometimes we have to go to those swirly old road. But whatever it is we must move on to reach that final destination.

"Got to keep my head held high."

We must and always expect the unexpected. There are difference between the gifted and the talented. We are talented and there is something that we are best at. But one thing for sure, we are best at being ourselves and nobody can be like you. We are dying to become someone else but there's someone dying to be us. Keep your will power high and Have faith in whatever it is that you are doing now.

" The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking. Sometimes they knock me but No I'm not breaking."

The things we've experienced, the problems we face yesterday, today and tomorrow will shape us for the real world. To prepare us for the real thing. Those who have no problems will become vulnerable to every attack. The world ain't sunshine and rainbows. Life can hit you harder than a rock. There are times when it rains in our life and dark clouds overwhelm us with fear and insecurities but if we waited long enough. A bright blue sky will appear.

" I may not know it but these are the moments that I'm going to remember the most yeah."

The problems that we face, the experience that we acquaintance with, the moments that we share. Even as little as the sand, we will going to remember it. Take your time and obtain all the experience you can get. We have to appreciate what we have, spend it throughly before it is gone. Because we often realize the true value of things when it's gone.

" There's gonna be another mountain. I'm always going to want to make it move."

In life we are always on the search for shortcuts and high roads. We always pray to god to discard problems in life but why not ask god to give us strength to overcome it. Wouldn't that be better. Why don't we climb that mountain, wouldn't that be a heck of an experience?

" Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes you going to have to lose."

Losing isn't something we should be ashamed of. We have to lose before we could win. The prize of losing is by far a better value. It teaches you not to repeat the same mistakes. The losers always win in the end. Proud to lose.

"Ain't how fast I get there, ain't what waits on the other side
It's the climb."

It's not about how fast you can get to your destination but your journey to reach it. What happen when you reached your destination too quickly, what's next? Wouldn't that make you feel awkward and boring. Everybody is experiencing many valuable things than you, you're missing out.

" Keep on moving, keep climbing."

" Keep the faith, keep your Faith."

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Haneef once asked me who to invite to his open house. I told him that you cannot invite just one person from a clique. Yes the clique controls. We have to balance each clique and off course each clique have it's own identity. The rebellious, the richest, the most popular, the smartest and so on. Each clique have it's own function in the school hierarchy. I am quite impressed that he managed to befriend with most of the clique in the school. Choose wisely!

Friday, October 9, 2009


I guess there's the truth behind every bad things lies good things as well. It is sad how one can suffer so much and be able to pull out a smile. It must have been heart aching to do such measures. It must be really harsh. Every tears represents a drop of agony. But in a way the things that you have experienced shapes you in one way. You are no longer afraid of fear. You inspire me somehow. How could a girl could be so strong. Physically and at heart. Like a plant, burning under the scorching sun, stay in the harshest rain but still blooming beautifully. I guess this is nature's course. I can too, be strong like you.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


The lantern of life beginning to fade, the sands of time flow mercilessly. As I ponder upon the plight of our lives, it doesn't seem so difficult. All the things that we grasp seems to shine bright showing the true path to our nature. I had always knew that one day everything will become memories, that we waited for and at the same time hoping that it would never come. It seems like yesterday we just known each other, and now we pray high and anticipating the better future.
There is this junction which we can never get back, the road that we traverse is not reversable. Unable to rescind, and infinite choices along the way. The road that we roam, it shapes us. One wrong move and we fall. So why do we travel on a road that is full of risk and choices. So fragile and we never know what happen next. Maybe, we were curious on what lies ahead, no matter the danger, we still seek the dream that we aren't sure that we could get a hold of. But still, as we wonder around , are we reminded that every road have a dead end.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"

"And all I can taste is this moment
Cause sooner or later it's over"
-ronan keating-


I saw this documentary about our prophet and it really touched me. The fascinating lives that they experienced.
I've heard some rumors about the indonesian waging war against Malaysia. My, my what have the world become.
Here you go Nurnabilahudabintihamdan, fascinating isn't it.

Monday, October 5, 2009


Music is a form of art, a melody which could interfere with ones feeling, controls emotions, and make them vulnerable. A song sound at it's best if it is related to the person's life, it could be a tragedy, love or life itself. People nowadays listens to music almost everyday. Some for entertainment and others are for certain purpose. Everyone have different lives, different ways of looking things and different taste in anything.
This harmonic tune never fails to calm me down. Her language express rich and subtle meanings. So delicate or precise as if to be difficult to analyze of describe.

Looking up at the endless starry skies as we sing
the melody that mortals like us dream of forever

The waters of love come brimming into our heart
I believe someone will reach the end of future

Racing against the far away time
Our cries will become a great song
Spinning the threads of love as we go
Even though we are just a tiny light now

In this night when my body burns from the joy of understanding
I started to pray for the eternity of this limited warmth

I exist solely for you
I wish to call out to you endlessly with only this voice
Let our cries for each other be heard across the time

Holding these trembling hands
I tell myself I do not wish to lose them
The fleeting moments that come to exist in our hearts
When it is gone we become fearful and weep
We sing the song that never ends
The plains that we cannot see right now
is the destination where you and I can go....

Racing against the far away time
Our cries will become a great song
Telling the tales of love as we go
Even though we are just a tiny light now

Looking up at the starry skies as we sing
dreaming of eternity
within the light.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


" You know what, I have this feeling that I'm ready for SPM."

" Buat apa aku nak belajar, aku dah ready dah untuk SPM"
Those quotes are very intimidating, lately I feel very guilty for certain reason. The reason that I couldn't get a hand off. Lately I have been down, my mood doesn't seem to do much, a kind of that sinking feeling, like a quicksand, slowly pulling me down.
I need to find something to trigger inspiration, to trigger the motivation. Sometimes I get motivated by reason's that I'm not aware of.
Last week, I got a haircut at a Saloon, You know what's funny? I get this warm feeling, a feeling to move on. I felt very happy. Each hair falls kind of like falling burden. I felt free.
I need a purpose to live on, the motivation from the Yellow Mosque doesn't bring that much impact on me, and so it fades. I just need a purpose. Someplace, something, someone that will push me forward.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


TAnJObI OmeDetO GozaiMasu!


Earthquakes, Tsunami and now a typhoon. The world is in great agony.
Mother earth is dying.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


The rubiks cube seems to be quite popular nowadays, but at the wrong time. Either people are actually ready for the grand test or just laying off some pressure.
Take a look at the Japanese Rubik's, the mirror block or the bump cube created by Hidetoshi Takeji.