HONEY AND CLOVER

The person I was,

telling myself that I would never obtain it,

and staying quiet while doing nothing,

always made me angry.

Until now...

I always wondered

if there was a point to a relationship

which failed.

I wondered if something which disappears

and something that never happened was the same thing.

But.

now I understand

that there was a meaning to it.

because I met you

the person I am today

is here now.

COWARD

Thriving in solitude has been mistaken as my life story.

I want to blame it on someone,

It's so difficult.

Tears and sorrow caused my eyes to melt away.

Autumn passed, and in the dead of winter I became a year older.

You think you've run far away, but your story never ends.

And yet, you're smirking.

It's so cowardly.

FOUR LEAF CLOVER

As you wave your hand that says, 'Someday,

let's meet again.' Your smiling face...

is eternally burned into my memory.

My face which replied ''That's right''.

I wonder if I was able to laugh convincingly.

Even if we can not remain like this

and even if we are washed away by the future

It never changes,it can never become dirty.

This canvas that's just for us..

Within time which passes by

Beneath the sky which continues to change

These chains that I will never forget that will never break

will probably turn into strength.

It seem so easy to tear like the clouds

and it's impossible to catch like the rainbow...

We can never return...

in memoir of

-MUHD AMIN BIN SHARFUDIN-

2004-2008

REASON

Everything happen for a reason.

REVOLVE

And so...

We all start to revolve again.

HOW LONG?

When I gazed at you

I saw myself trembling in your eyes

I opened my mouth as though I had a blank expression

When I continue to gaze at you

The seasons changed in your eyes

My new light which I’ve not known before

We will walk our separate paths

Now, at that crossroad

I can never look back again

My feelings are too overwhelming

You embrace me in the night that is about to disappear

Entangling me with your body which has grown cold

I feel that something is lacking

Just how long have I been holding on to

Lies and sighs to the point of falling apart?

Gathering emotions which are lacking

Things that were warmed just a while ago have grown cold

I couldn’t believe something like this

Just how long am I going to hold on to the same words?

How long am I going to hold on…

SPLIT

It would be so much easier...

.. if these stale emotions

could just disappear without a word.

At the crossroads where we split ways...

... it saddens me to think that we may never meet again.

Despite adding the emotions that are lacking...

Things cool off as soon I warm them...

But I still don't want to believe.

Just how long am I going to brood over the same world?

How long...?

MEANING

Life is meaningless if you just live.

WAR

My world is at war,

and I am the weapon.

LOST AND FOUND

Instead of pursuing things that are already lost,

we might as well treasure the things we have now.

SAKURA

In front of my house there stand this tree,

it look like cherry blossoms.

Just by looking at it soothes me.

WANTING

I want to do a thing or a job that only I could do.

I wish my words were the truth.

BUG

Like a bug, it follows the bright light.

NARROW

Why is my view of life is so narrow.

LIFE IS

Forget about the past. If you keep looking back, you won't be able to move forward.

~Walk three steps forward, then two steps back~

SEASON

The flower petals are opening up, each one more than the other.

The flowers will once again blossom in full glory.

Knowing yesterday what will happen to them today,

made me happy.

ALWAYS

I pretty much don't understand the language but the clip showed me enough.

'They' always be with you.

WRESTLER

Sometimes I wish that I was a wrestler.

A mexican wrestler, in a red vinyl mask and I

might grab you and bodyslam you 

and maybe cause physical harm...

But when we would land I might take pity on you...

I could crack all your ribs, but I can't

break your heart.

PAST

I want to built a time machine and ride it to go back to the past.

STRONG

Plant's are great, aren't they?

Even when it rains, and they get soaked,

they still stay put there, growing fresh flowers.

I want to become that strong too.

EVERYDAY

Everyday 

I'll keep on wanting a dream that can never come true.

And I feel sorry for myself, 

to have the ability but to be able to do nothing.

It doesn't matter what I do, but with the me right now.

I'm becoming more miserable.

If it stays like this, I won't have the courage to live on.

STEP BY STEP

When my existence seems to disappear,

I will look for the place where I can do the best I can.

From now on, I'll deliberate slowly.

I won't be impatient,

I won't be greedy,

I won't give up.

Because everyone takes things step by step.

No matter how little the matter is, I want

to become a useful person to others.

THE OTHER SIDE OF SUFFERING

Everyone feels pain.

But surely, after suffering satisfaction will arrive.

Even with sports, studying or other ordeals.

With life , It's like that for everyone.

If we can beat the pain , on the other side,

a rainbow of happiness awaits us.

That will definitely become a treasure.

Let's believe in that.

OTHER SIDE

Where should I head towards?

Even if there isn't a answer,

I'll feel better writing it down.

I've looked for a pair of helping hands.

But I couldn't feel them,couldn't see them.

I only face towards the darkness.

and hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.

HANDICAP

I have watched 1 litre of tears episode by episode, repeatedly. Besides all of those river of tears I made, my heart melted by each episode.

Now I know how handicapped people feels. And we...

"To actually have the ability, but to be able to do nothing."

to stop my pace,and live in the present.

Even though there will be a day, that I will lose it.

isn't it great that I could pass on a dream that I had to give up

she said.

The place that's shrowded in pain,

Is where happiness waits, they say.

I am still searching.

It's like an out of season, sunflower

If you clench your fists too tight,

And wait for the morning light,

your nails become red with blood,

and shining tears begin to flow.

Even if you're left in solitude,

With only the moonlight to depend on,

Fly away using featherless wings,

and keep moving forward.

be strong, go forward , move ahead

"people shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now".

PERSONA

1st of December have arrived, and I stood still gone nowhere. All those courses I dropped, am I forgetting myself, have I lost again? What have I become... This emotionless face is truly expressing nothing in my mind. No happiness, angst, envy, anger,pride, joy, glory... nothing. An empty space filled with holes. A black and white world, silent,pitch-black. My words became backwards. And I seem to go nowhere. My body stop and the time stare. My sketch book is white as it is newly bought, my backpack surrounded by dust.But...I have ended a game that I have been playing so long. When you read a book or doing something in a joyful emotion then suddenly it ends. Honestly, I hate it when things end. Certain things to be exact. Eventually the things you love you start again after it ended. But reading a book or playing a game twice does not have the same feeling as the first time.

I wonder how it is like for life to end.

what if there is no afterlife, everything turns black

forever...