Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Dusting old memories, a sanctuary left to dust. I am revisiting. The urge to write is unbearable. A thought to share. Memorandum for the future. An anarchy for the thought. Likewise I am fine, making new friends. And old ones are still be remembered dearly. There are many thoughts clouding in the mind. Future related. Love and such.
Tonight a fourth attempt of proposal from another familiar faces. Another rejection given. For what am I feeling, i questioned myself, my sanity. Making quick decisions, sometimes I ponder whether it was the right choice I have made. It is certainly a gamble. Which we not know whether we have won or we have lost. Ecstasy in our present times, never felt the urge to wonder the prize we have taken or the things we have lost. At nights I always fantasized on how I could reverse time and chosen the other way around and wait to see whether the road not taken was a better worth. This gamble we take is certainly daring. One wrong choices will lead to another, A butterfly effect it seems. Thus, I wonder the decisions I made just now was the right one, or did I just lost and opportunity for a better future, or perhaps nothing had change. I sometimes wonder whether god almighty had answered my prayers or it is just me who just rejected a 'gift', something I wanted all along.
Reminds me of a story about a guy drowning and a boat passed by to help, but he refused and said "God will help me." Even after many people lending a hand. Then he died, went and see god and asked why didn't you save me. The irony of god replying, "I sent you three boats to help but you refuse." It makes me ponder whether my egoistic self consume my rational way of thinking. However it is, we just don't know the gamble we did, what we had lost and gain.